To get myself to care, and focus, for four hours straight. I’ve got to be able to not only do that on test day, but do it beforehand, so I can practice. And let me tell ya, that’s the hardest part for me. I haven’t been able to do it yet. So here goes….maybe today is the day. :)

I’m learning about perseverance. A lot about it. And the funny thing is: you would think that everyone thinks that perseverance is a good thing. But I’ll tell ya—all I’ve been hearing lately is “give up give up give up”. 

So, I’m in school. And I work. Because, you know, I have rent and stuff. I’m taking microbiology and physiology at a community college that I am convinced makes it as difficult as possible, because they are trying to prove that they are just as awesome as UT. (Not that, these classes are easy, by any stretch of the imagination, anywhere, because they are not). Both of these classes have labs. On Tuesdays I’m in class from 7:30 AM to 4:20 straight. My first set of exams were on the same day. I’m pretty sure my second set will both be next tuesday. 

I don’t have time to do anything. I am learning or studying until 11PM or midnight every night, and I get up at 6:30. I work 3-11PM the nights before I have a 7:30 AM class. 

Okay, that sounds like I’m whining…I’m really not; my point is, and I’m trying to tell you, that for some reason, everyone likes to say things to me like “oh, I couldn’t do that if I were you.” or “well, they did advise you not to take those classes at the same time.”

Do people really think that is helpful? 

Do people really think that I didn’t know that this semester would be my biggest challenge yet? 

Don’t they realize how discouraging those comments are, and how it makes me wonder if I can do it? 

I was getting pretty frustrated about this last week. I realized then, that I need to ignore people that say things like that. Why? Because I can do it. And I think most of them could too, if they had to. But people like to be limiting. They like to limit me, and limit themselves. It’s amazing what you can do if you have to. And you know what, I have to. Because if I drop one of these classes, that’s $1500 bucks down the drain ($1200 is what it cost me to pay out of state tuition, and it would be $300 to take it again next semester with in-state). I’m not going to waste my time and money that way. And I’m up for the challenge. 

Obviously I thought about this before I took the classes. 

So, people aren’t aloud to say these things to me anymore. At least not my friends. Strangers I’ll just ignore. 

Because they are wrong. I can do it. And hearing “you can’t you can’t you can’t” has only discouraged me and decreased my motivation. I don’t have time for that. Not only can I do-but it’s been done before-and people busier than I am have done it before, too. 

The only two people who have told me, always, that I can do it, are my mother and my boyfriend. I’d like that thank them for believing in me, when I was NOT thinking, “I can do this.” They told me I could do it when I was only thinking “I don’ t think I can do this. I’m going to break.” Finally, yesterday, someone else said something good to me. I met a friend of a friend who had taken both of my classes, and knew how notoriously difficult my two professors are (I have the hardest ones). He said, “Wow, what a great opportunity to be challenged.” Sounds cheesy, but he was totally genuine. “If you can do that, you can do anything. And most people don’t get the opportunity to be challenged that way.”

He said it was an opportunity. A chance most people don’t get. ha. 

So I’m not dropping. I’m pushing through. 2 months and 5 days more. Because if I don’t do it now, I’ll have to do it later, and all my hard work this past month will be wasted. I’m not going to waste it. And if I decide to take organic chemistry, well, I’ll be taking that along side an easier class, instead of phys or micro. So there. 

per severe |ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r| |ˈˈpərsəˈˈvɪ(ə)r| |pəːsɪˈvɪə|verb [ intrans. ]continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success